I am getting quite excited now. There are only 6 days to go until I fly to Norway and I can’t believe how fast every single day is going!
I have really been struggling with knowing how to feel about going away; I do tend to feel guilty when I get excited as I am ‘leaving’ people behind. I’ll really miss Hans of course, and I will also really miss my siblings and friends. I will miss my 3 gorgeous nieces a lot too… I know all of this is natural but it has left me feeling bad about the whole the whole thing – like I’m doing something wrong. Letting people down, maybe… I don’t know.
But anyway, today I feel quite excited (yay!) I have sorted just about everything that I can and I am just spending as much time as possible with Hans this week so I feel a bit happier and a bit (dare I say) excited! I know it’s going to be a great experience – 5 months alone in a different country (somewhere I know I like too) no work, and lots of time to do some ‘character building’ and ‘soul searching’! Oh, and study hard of course…
One thing that has annoyed me over the last few weeks is some of the comments people have made. I know people are just being supportive, but sometimes it feels more like they don’t really care so it gets on my nerves a little. For example, if I’m worrying about how long Hans and I will be apart, I may get ‘oh it’ll fly by’ or ‘you’ll be back in no time’ or ‘5 months is nothing!’. As I said, I KNOW people are trying to be helpful or make me feel better, but actually they don’t know me or how I’ll feel when the time comes. Yes I know that it will probably go quicker than it seems right now, but it won’t ‘fly by’. A good friend of mine has been living with her boyfriend for a few years, and he has not long come back from 6 months in New Zealand. I know that I always get a good honest opinion from her (which is why I value her so much as a friend) so asked her how long it felt to her when he went away, and told her I was getting fed up with people saying it would go fast. She said that ‘yes it did go quite slowly’ and of course she really missed him, but she also said it was worth it, and everything was the same when he got back and that even though it’s hard they managed and adapted to it and everything will be fine! I knew that already really, I just wanted to hear it honestly from someone else.
Actually, the only person who says it’ll go really fast and doesn’t annoy me is Hans; I think he is telling himself as much as he is telling me though. That’s quite sad, but sweet as well. God, I will miss him so much!