Monday, 11 August 2008
Even though I am busy, I am trying to stay as un-stressed as I can. am sitting here now with a large glass of red (clever I know - I wont pack my passport or something like that now!) and I decided I would try and post as I'm not sure I'll get a chance for the next few days. Where I will be staying with Hans and his mum is pretty remote, and there is just a basic telephone line, so internet access would mean pulling the phone out and dialling up: really slow and painful so I'll just wait until I'm set up again. I'll try and type up into a word document at the end of most days and then I can just copy and paste when I'm back online.
I'm still really nervous, it's starting to feel real now. The hamsters have gone to stay with their uncle Andy so the place already feels empty, though I think it might be a bit tougher for Hans than me - he will have to come back to the flat beng so quiet. The 'final' packing is tough aswell, I just want to unpack everything and crawl into bed and pretend this isn't happening!
Our flight is around lunchtime tomorrow, so we should be in Norway around 3, and hopefully arrived and settled in Kirkenær by 7 (Hopefully) I don't like flying and I don't like airports so I always have an annoyng day when I go anywhere. It's worse as we'll both be carryng normal luggage - usually we only take hand luggage so it's a matter of checking in and that's it! I hate wating around for stupid suitcases that you have to lug around everywhere with you! Grrrrr!!!
So, it's finally here - the time has come! Goodbye to everyone - I wll miss you all but I will be back, and have lots of great experiences to share. Hans, I love you so much and will miss you dearly - thank you for being so supportive, my rock and my best friend. Mwah!
The stupid 'I' key keeps sticking on my keyboard!!!
Anyway, an update on yesterday: I met my cousin today, she was so lovely. She brought loads of photos of me to look at of different family members, including photos of my dad which was amazing for me to see, and we also had a coffee and a really nice chat. I feel very welcomed by her, and plan on meeting my family when I am back from Norway in January. I wish this had come earlier and I had a little more time to get to know them, but it will be a good thng to look forward too. I'm not really doing it justice - I mean all the things that happened and how I feel, but it's still a bit overwhelming and personal - I need to process it a bit more in my head before I write about it. It will come - also had an email from another cousin too! It's so amazing!
A picture from my cousin of me and my dad! He looks loads like my brother Rob, it's quite scary!
I met a couple of other friends today which was nice. One of them is pregnant, and by the time I get back will have had her baby. Again, another thing to look forward too! My other friend gave me a leaving present which was really nice, but the best thing about it is she wrote the tag in Norwegian! it was really thoughtful and funny, but she got it spot on! 'Lykke til - jeg gleder meg til å møte deg til våren!' Thanks Kayleigh!
Anyway, I have more to say but I really need to get on with the packing :-S Thank you to everybody who has been so supportive over the last few days and weeks, I will be thinking of you all (when i'm living it up n the City of Rain!) Now I have to go through the post and put all my 'I's back in :-)
Much love xxx
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Even though it was awkward something good came out of meeting with my mum; my dad died when I was a baby and my mum was just 6 weeks pregnant with my brother. It was a horrible accident at work, and he was only very young - early twenties I think.
Anyway, for reasons I will probably never know, my mums side of the family and my dads side of the family lost contact after his death - I don't think it was deliberate, maybe a gradual thing, but I was so young I can't remember and even if I did I probably wouldn't have got it. I have thought about my dad alot over the years, and tried on and off to find my relatives on the internet - never very seriously though as I didn't have a clue where to start. My mum really doesn't like to talk about the whole thing and always changes the subject (fair or not? I don't know, maybe not). So it has been on my mind alot recently, and when we met up I took the opportunity to push the topic a bit with her - she eventually told me the name of one of my cousins she could remember.
To cut a long story short, I came home that evening (the same evening that I had a migraine) now, I always act really weird when a migraine comes on - almost like I have had a drink -I'm just not with it. So I got in and sent a blanket email to everyone on facebook with the same name as my cousin (I didn't really have much hope - I just thought I might as well) I got a few emails back from various people - 'sorry we are not who you are looking for', but then late last night I read my emails again and I had a reply from what I managed to confirm was my cousin!
We sent a few emails back and forth, giving a little information about each other - it was really nice! I was really nervous about it though, and thought it might be nice to keep emailing and writing while I'm in Norway, and then by the time I come back both parties may be ready to meet. However, my cousin was so friendly and welcoming, and after a few emails we have arranged to meet for a coffee tomorrow! I am not even that nervous as she came across as such a nice person, so I'm really looking forward to meeting her. I told her I couldn't remember my dad, and that I had no photos whatsoever, so she sent a picture to my phone of my dad holding me as a baby - it was so amazing it made me cry! my nan is still alive to which is amazing, as my mum said she thought she was dead (nice!) and I also have 3 uncles, aunts, lots of cousins and second cousins too I think - the cousin I am meeting tomorrow has a really gorgeous 10 month old baby aswell, so I'm really looking forward to meting her, and over the next few months try and make contact with my close family who I haven't seen for almost 25 years!
I have told Rob aswell, and he was really excited too - I think we have both always had something missing out of our lives as far as our dad is concerned. We have a step-father and 5 half brothers and sisters who we both love as much as each other - but still, it's nice to know that my dad, who's life was cut so horribly short, still has a family who (although it is difficult to comprehend right now) are directly blood related to us - our family too.
I'll have to keep updated with this too, I will take it slowly and see how it goes, but it has made me feel really happy already. I am very grateful for how forthcoming and sweet my cousin has been. Thank you!
Maybe this was a bad idea?
Or maybe it's the best thing I ever did?
I guess only time will tell. All I know now is that I'm really, really scared.
(and a teeny bit excited)
Rob, Lorna and their gorgeous family!
Anyway, it was really nice seeing Rob and the family. I'm going to miss them so much when I go, but it's all part of the experience I guess. I'm just glad I saw them again before I leave. It was really sad to walk away at the end, Hans bought Abbie a magnum from the icecream vending machine in the car park, which she loved! Then as we were driving home, they appeared in the car behind us for a bit of the way which was quite funny - we were waving and grinning like madmen in the car, and then realised afterwards that all of the other drivers probably thought we were randomly waving at everyone that drove past!
So we got home and Hans had to leave pretty much straight away to go to training, I thought I would get some ironing and more packing done, but my headache just exploded and I kind of passed out in the lounge! it was too late to get any migraine pills from anywhere so I just had to suck it up - after that I really can't remember much of the night :-( not good for our last Friday night at home together - when Hans got in we ate some food, and then I just conked out again until this morning.
Me and some of the guys at MMA...
Today was good too, I had my last session training at the MMA (mixed martial arts) class and said goodbye to all the guys! then we had some cake afterwards (probably undoing all of the good training had just done us!) It was nice, all the guys at class are friends and I'll miss the class too. There is a pretty good gym actually within the student complex I'll be staying in, so I'll be able to train alot there which I am looking forward too - Hans has also found me a good Thai Boxing Gym (that also traing boxing) and it's pretty cheap (unlike the damn gym here!) so hopefully I'll be able to train as much (if not more) than I do here.
Then we just came home, fully intending to do nothing but relax together (and blog!!) and we made our favourite romantic meal - tacos! mmmm, with pork mince and emmental cheese - my very favourite. We made a solemn vow that neither of us would (ch)eat on each other (meaning we would eat tacos with no-one else while we are apart) as it's 'our thing' we do together, and as silly as it sounds it just wouldn't be right to eat tacos without being together!
I got a text from Hans mum this morning too, asking 'if I had finished packing, and that it was getting a little cold in Norway'. She also said she was 'looking forward to seeing us', and that made it feel a litle more real and exciting! I'm still only thinking about the 'holiday' week with Hans family though, I still can't comprehend staying behind on my own and going to uni there - EEK! Anyway, I replied and told her that I would bring some thick jumpers (skal bringe noen tykke genser) and that I was glad it's colder now, because det har vært for varmt for meg (it has been too warm for me!)
Well, we've had our nice evening in together, and that brings me up to date I think. I have missed out alot, and waffled I guess, but just because the last 2 days have been a blur and my head is probably not 100% straight yet! I'm going to go and relax with my angel a little more before bed, and tomorrow is Sunday so maybe we'll treat ourselves to a nice lie-in ;-)